Mal-a-Pop-isms

Malapropism - An act or habit of misusing words ridiculously, esp. by the confusion of words that are similar in sound.

Some of my favorite phases uttered by my Dad at one time or another...


I don't want you jumping to your own concussion, Hans.


(An exchange between Dad and the Produce Manager of a grocery store)
Dad: Where is your garbage?
Manager: My what?
Dad: Your garbage.
Manager: We don't sell garbage here!
Dad: No, you know, it's garbage... garbage... (while pantomiming a ball-shape with his hands) it's like let-us.
Manager: Ah! You mean cabbage! (Whew! What a nut...)
Dad: Yes, that's it! Where is your cabb-idge? (Gee, he must think I'm a nut!)


Dad: It was tarantula reins over there!
Me: Huh?
Dad: You know, (while holding his cupped hand palm down and wiggling his fingers) tarantula rains... I mean it was raining real hard!
Me: Ah! Torrential rains!


Dad: Hans, what is the first thing you do when you find you dug yourself into a hole so deep, you can't climb out?
Me: Uhm, stop digging?
Dad: No, throw out the shovel!
Me: What?
Dad: Because you will grab the shovel and start digging again out of desperation. Get rid of the thing that got you there in the first place, otherwise you're only going to get in deeper.


After practically crawling out of the smoking crater caused by my trying something that was inherently dangerous or collosally insane...

You know Hans? That took a special kind of stupid!


I"m not making fun of Dad, I was just thinking of some of the funny things we have talked about over the years and it seems to me that they were always a little different way of looking at things and yet, still somewhat appropriate to the situation.